• The Electronic RSVP

    In a perfect world, everyone wants their big day to be three things: memorable, fun, and as inexpensive as humanly possible. With what the wedding industry is today, that last item is not an easy thing to check off when you're trying to create your dream wedding. Being frugal is difficult when you come across a venue, a dress, a cake, or even a centerpiece that makes your heart flutter with excitement. Obviously, that's not what your wedding is about, but no one should ever tell you to dream smaller for such an important day. Your big day is exactly that, yours.

    Thanks to Pinterest, DIY is huge in the modern wedding world, and many couples have found great ways to save money on their big day. My friend built his own centerpieces for his wedding two years ago, while another skipped the assembly fee for her invitations by stuffing, stamping, and sealing them herself (with the help of her fiancé and a lot of wine). 

    Digital is all the rage now, too. I get many clients who ask what I think about having an online RSVP instead of a paper one. Many couples opt to have their guests go to a webpage to RSVP or even create an email address specifically for their wedding. While I'm clearly biased and will always prefer a traditional paper response card, there are many benefits to having your guests RSVP online:

    • Less paper. The most obvious benefit of a digital RSVP is that there's no paper involved (unless you opt to have an insert informing guests that you're doing an online RSVP). Not only does this mean less waste (you should always recycle your response cards), but this also means less time spent on the designing, printing, and assembling of your entire wedding suite.  
    • No postage. If there's nothing to mail, then that's one less stamp you need to purchase. Postage can often be the most expensive part of your wedding suite, especially if the mailing envelope requires extra stamps.
    • No mailing. No one enjoys dealing with the post office, especially when mail gets lost. Digital RSVPs remove the worry and wait of the postal system. No more lost response cards!
    • Less money. Obviously, if you're not having a traditional RSVP done, you're saving quite a bit of money. For couples who opt to list the URL of their RSVP on their invite (I see nothing wrong with this, but some choose to do a separate insert instead), they're saving on paper, envelopes, postage, design, and printing. 

    Keep in mind that there are some disadvantages to a digital response card. Before deciding to take this route, look over your guest list and make sure that you're comfortable with the online abilities of everyone you're inviting. Is there someone who can assist Great Aunt Muriel in RSVPing? Are you posititve that everyone has access to the Internet? I understand that it's 2017, but everyone's situation is different.

    Like a traditional RSVP, you will still undoubtedly have to track down some people via phone or email when they miss your response deadline. With a digital RSVP, you may even get a few guests who call or email to respond. Be patient, and make sure to track all of your responding guests in a spreadsheet. Some online services, such as RSVPify and anRSVP, even have built in tracking for users. When using a digital RSVP, it's best to give guests an extra week to respond. Traditionally, guests are asked to respond 4–6 weeks before your big day. Building that extra week into your timeline will allow everyone to respond in a timely manner and cut down on your stress! 

  • Question: Whose name should go first on the wedding invitation?

    The debate over who should have their name go first on the invite is a very old one that everyone wants to weigh in on when you're getting married. Your Great Aunt Muriel will probably tell you that the bride's name should go first, and, depending on the scenario, she may not be wrong. Traditionally, the bride's name is listed first, but this convention is rooted in the expectation that her parents are hosting the wedding. And how do you know who's hosting? Easy. Whichever set of parents (if either) is footing most of the bill (usually, whoever is paying for the venue) is considered the host, therefore their names are listed on the invite and their child gets listed before their intended.

    Let's be real; it's 2016. While many parents still opt to finance their children's big day, today there are couples that pay for their own weddings, either out of necessity or choice. And nowadays, it's also not unusual for both sets of parents to contribute significantly to their children's wedding. Additionally, the rule of listing the bride first doesn't necessarily apply if the wedding is for a same-sex couple. Follow these simple tips to figure out the best wording for your wedding invitation without causing strife with your family (especially the in-laws!). 

    • As stated above, money plays a big part in deciding who the "official" wedding host is, and, therefore, who gets listed in what order on a wedding invitation. If you and your intended are financing most of your big day yourself, you rightfully get to call the shots on name order. However, if you want to be sensitive to your parents' wishes, ask them if they have an opinion on who gets listed first.
    • On the off chance that both sets of parents decide to host (i.e. they split the bill for the venue), it's best to sit everyone down and decide who should be listed first on the invitation.  
    • If you and your betrothed decide that you don't want to list any specific parents on the invitation, but still want to make it feel inclusive, phrases such as "together with their loved ones," "together with their parents," or "together with their family and friends" are great ways to spread the love equally without naming names. This is also a good solution for children of divorced or remarried parents, or couples who have parents making roughly equal contributions to the hosting of the wedding.
    • Still can't decide if you or your partner should be listed first when you're both hosting? Alphabetical order is an easy fix for the situation, or even writing out both of your names on top of each other helps. Sometimes one order looks better aesthetically than the other! Consider how the descenders and ascenders of your respective names may clash. 

    Have a specific scenario in mind and still not sure how to word your invitation? Shoot me an email at, and I'll help you compose the best wording for your wedding invite!